How long is it still Mercy
Who is actually holding things when they start to fall apart?
because i know it isn’t God in the way people sometimes say it. not like He causes it, that doesn’t fit. people still choose what they do. they move, they speak, they decide and yet nothing feels completely separate from Him either
like everything still happens under His sight, even the things that shouldn’t.
Not seven times, but seventy times seven. Matthew 18:22 "Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." i think it was said like that on purpose, so it wouldn’t be counted like numbers, without keeping track
i want to understand it the way it’s meant but i don’t know where that leaves the person who keeps receiving it how many times something can happen before it becomes something else
or if it ever does
maybe it doesn’t
There are people who are given more to hold. more trust, more authority, more weight over others. I keep thinking about that too ,if that makes it easier to slip or if it makes it more dangerous when they do
it reaches further than it should, i don’t know if they see it the same way, or if it feels different from where they stand
sometimes i think maybe i’m supposed to accept it more quietly. just understand that people fail and continue anyway
Offer it up
that’s what it comes back to
but i don’t know how far that goes before it stops being something given and starts being something taken
i don’t know if there is a clear place where that changes, i don’t want to misunderstand what is being asked of me and i don’t want to refuse forgiveness where it’s required but i also don’t know how much i am meant to endure without stepping outside of what is right
maybe i’m making it too large maybe it’s something smaller, something i’m not seeing because i keep trying to hold all at once
i’ll leave it for now and maybe it will be clearer another time or maybe it won’t.