entry today
Woke up earlier today than usually
followed the list from yesterday. it’s easier when things are already written down. less room to forget what comes next.
cleaned for a while in the morning. i finished everything that was supposed to be done there. i went back later to check and it was already done, so that’s good.
I've been helping more at church this week since easter is coming up. there’s more to do than usual. setting things up, moving things around, working on papers, small tasks that take longer than expected.
father has been giving me more things to do. i don’t mind it, it’s easier when the day is full. we’ve been working together more because of that.
worked again in the afternoon as well. didn’t talk much. it felt easier to just focus on what needed to be done instead of trying to keep up with conversations
i’ve been noticing it’s better when i don’t react immediately. things stay calmer that way
i hope this is closer to who i’m supposed to be
i used to say more before. i think i did. it’s harder to remember exactly what that felt like, but i know i was more quick with things, is how I would describe that.
there was more hesitation before, more second guessing. more trying to explain everything at once
it doesn’t feel like that as much anymore.
things are more direct now, clearer, i think that’s better.
i don’t really miss how it was before.
it felt more disorganized. harder to control. like everything was happening at once without any structure to it
Now it feels more contained.
less room for mistakes.
i hope God can see that i’m trying to do things properly now.
i don’t always understand why things have to be done this way, but i’m trying to trust that there’s a reason for it
that’s all for today.